I'm on Xmas vacation now...a nice two week long respite from work, visiting relatives scattered about the southeast and midwest, and doing some reading when I can. Actually, I've been able to get in a good bit of reading in the past few days, more than I'd usually do at home, and that's been awesome. I'm now about 2/3 of the way through my second book from the list: "Of Human Bondage" by W. Somerset Maugham.
This book is a classic bildungsroman (Now there's a word, like weltanschung, which only college graduates are legally allowed to use). The story is about (so far at least) the early life and education of Philip Carey, an English lad who is orphaned at a young age, is raised by his aunt and uncle (a vicar), goes to Germany for an education, then tries his hand at being an accountant (which he hates and is not good at), then goes to Paris to study art (which he is OK at, but decides to quit when he realizes he will always be just OK), and then goes back to England to study medicine. It's quite a good book...a little Dickens-esque at first, what with being born with a clubfoot (what is a clubfoot exactly, anyway?), and orphaned and then raised by the childless aunt and uncle in a vicarage, but as Philip grows older, it becomes a better and better read, and I find it hard to put down now.
I like this book because it makes me think. Main Street did that as well, but the styles are pretty different.
There was one theme that really struck me in the section of the novel where Philip is in Paris studying art. He is attending an art school, and is living quite the bohemian life with his fellow art students. Philip, and the reader, are struck by the fact that some of them are totally dedicated to their art, spending all their time working on and thinking about their work, and yet they appear doomed to failure as they don't have more than a mediocre talent for it. Of course, they do not realize their lack of talent, and in fact they rail against those who might criticize their work, as criticism just shows them that others clearly don't see their obvious genius. Then there is another student who is clearly the most naturally talented and original of the lot, yet he can never complete a painting...it's not good enough to him, or he loses interest, or he becomes insecure about it, etc. Having been a musician and playing in bands for years, and also as a fan of American Idol, I was struck by how common all this really is. I have seen so many musicians who are so sure of their own talents, and yet truth be told, they are really only middling. Some of them work quite hard, and yet hard work and perseverance is no match for the lack of innate talent. There seems to be in America today this myth that if you have a dream, and work really hard at it, you can achieve that dream...you can be anything you want, achieve anything you want, as long as you really put your mind to it. Well, unfortunately, this is bunk. Hard work will not make up for the lack of talent, and overwhelming talent is no guarantee of success without the ability to work really hard and see things through to the end. And even talent and hard work might not succeed without a modicum of luck. It sucks, and it's unfair, but it's the way of the world.
All this reminds me of Carol in Main Street. She wants to change things, and has the desire to make her mark, but she can never really decide exactly how to fulfill her desires, or to quite articulate exactly what they are, nor does she have the persistance and strength to persevere when things don't immediately go her way. We're all prisoners of our own limitations, whether that's lack of talent, or lack of discipline, or shyness, or lack of confidence, or whatever. The best we can do is to continue to try to "know thyself", to understand what our own particular limitations are, and to either try to rise above them or else engage in pursuits where our limitations won't be too much of a handicap. In Philip's case, he came to realize he was only of average talent, and he had the balls to ask his art professor to give him honest feedback about his talent and whether he should continue his career in art, and he also had the balls to listen openly and to decide to leave the field when it was clear he'd never be great at it. Would that we could all do the same...
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